Uhm.
If I were Japanese, I would prostrate myself before you and apologize profusely. But I'm not.
So I won't.
Instead, I'll do what I do, and look up with you with big, fat, sad, pathetic eyes and cry. Yea, that's what I'd do.
I'm sorry ;.;
You can skip to the bottom to get to the bottom line. Otherwise, humor me:
I can't get myself to the point with this chapter that I like it. Even if I have half the chapter finished, ultimately deciding whether or not to publish it is like, having bipolar disease and having one personality really not care (GIVE ME FOR FAN COMMENTS) and the other personality care too much (NOOOOO. DON'T LET THEM YELL AT ME ;.;)
So I whined a little bit to anyone that would listen--mostly the dogs--and then I slept on it. I have officially decided that Chapter Two is still not good enough to publish. Not even half of it.
Which, makes me really sad.
Really, really sad.
I don't know. I feel like I've worked a long time on it; altered my schedule just to get it finished; and waited impatiently to get to the result of the matter--only to fall flat on my face! The quality of the manga-esque writing style as dropped quite a bit; and now that the story is getting along a little bit further, I'm risking the chance of losing you guys with too many new characters (If you watch LOST or HEROES, you can probably relate), really bad descriptions LOL It's just a snowstorm of problems.
And the sad thing is, I'm not even over exaggerating. So sad. Boyfriend says, Deadlines don't work for writers. They have them, but they don't really work. >.> I replied, (after four years of college papers) Deadlines work--but you just get crappy writing. Really, crappy writing.
I think I'm just going to keep pushing onward with the chapter and try to hit my original goal--all 25 sections. It'll be like, 60 pages, at least. But at least I'll be satisfied with what I'm doing--and not just out to get my trophy reviews.
In the long run, I think you guys will be happier. I mean, like, what, 3 people know about this blog and my alleged deadline, right? Ok, maybe five. So, whoever doesn't know about the blog/deadline, and how I didn't meet it, it won't hurt them, right? RIGHT?!
"Right," I say to myself, overindulgent and completely satisfied.
Bottom line: I'm not publishing today. For anyone that knew about the deadline and really can't wait, and would like to read a crappy rough draft and yell at me and then wait longer to expect for more, you can drop me a comment here on the blog, or a message via FanFiction.net and I will willingly send you a copy of what I have so far.
Otherwise, I will keep chugging along and hope to have something I can really be proud of... with a tentative deadline that I will not say =) But let's just say, "Soon."
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8 comments:
I'd like to read it... I've been checking ff.net DAILY to see if you've uploaded.
I'm just wondering though, why are you pushing for such a long chapter? Why not split them up into shorter chapters so that it's less daunting?
I have nothing really helpful to say, I just read your chapter one today, but really though, I like it, even with all that length it's like 'more skip beat to enjoy!' I'm looking forward to the next chapter should you ever (i'm desperately hoping you WILL and SOON) post, and I'm putting the story on my story alert list so I'll know the moment you post.
But here, for all our sakes, UPDATE PLEASE!! I feel like I'm dying a slow and impatient death.
Props girlie; you're an awesome writer.
Hey Julie, blogger didn't give me a way to contact you >.> so, just send me an email at LyL(dot)Bunny(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll send you a copy of the first "half" =) The writing/dialog probably won't be anywhere close to what the final will look like, though >.> But the essential plot and story will be there.
As for torturing myself, it's really not about the length of the chapter, per say. I just feel bad for you guys because you have to read such long chapter =D
I thought about breaking it apart. I have enough to publish as a separate chapter, but it's not what I imagined where the chapter would end. I feel like... I'd be cheating if I published what I have so far.
When it comes down to it, I'm really writing "Second Chance" for myself--you guys just get to "benefit" from it... so, I guess, in a way, I want to write it so that years from now, when I wonder why my life has wasted away and where did all the time go, I can be satisfied that spent a lot of time on something that I love and that I'm proud of. (Especially since I'm not getting paid LOL)
Technically, I did break up the chapter up into sections, "mini-chapters" I guess, and it does make it seem less daunting, but the trouble I'm having is actually the writing style...
It's just not coming out as good as I want it to >.> Like, completely unpublishable... not good... stuff. I don't know; you'll see it when you get it. It's really corny and over dramatic right now, and Ren's saying stuff that he would "never" say... I just need to work on it more.
OK, enough rambling. Just shoot me an email (or PM me on FF.net) and I'll get back to you.
Why do you make a deadline? I suggest don't make deadlines... it really stresses you out. if you like to post in long chapters, that's fine-- it's your style. :D but your really shouldn't be in distress over your fans' satisfactions... you story is great, and there are always just those days where you can't seem to do it. where using energy sorta burns you out more, right? :D so calm down, ...
The deadline was helpful! (You're right, it totally burned me out and killed me in the end) but man, it really helped me force out some of the scenes I was having sooooo much trouble with. (Haaha. I imagined you waving out the air around me with your hands while repeating the mantra "Calm down, calm down~" or as I would say, "Simmer down. Simmer down, lady!") TRUST me. Who knows where this chapter would've been at without the deadline.
Maybe I just need consistent, but realistic deadlines. It would be nice not to feel like your dying for the sake of a hobby...
Hi! I'd like to read what you have so far, if that's still okay with you. :P
Your story is really well written, and it'd be nice to see just a little more of it. It's a sad thing, but the Skip Beat fandom is relatively small. There just aren't enough fanworks on the net, so I appreciate the time and effort you've put into this contribution. Anyhow, my email's elemirre@gmail.com Thanks!
I would really like to read it...your first chapter is so amazing, I believe, even if it's still in draft format, you can still contain the essence of the story in it...if you're okay with it, can you send me the chapter draft to ellegarden_fire_cracker@yahoo.com please?I mean, if it's not too much trouble for you...thanks anyway.
I'll wait for the finished draft. Would it be easier on you to write shorter chapters? Perhaps then you wouldn't feel like there was pressure from all the people waiting half a year to read your next piece.
When writing fan-fiction my policy is that I'll only post finished pieces. Even if it's a chaptered piece...I'll post one chapter at a time but it all has to be done in advance. That's because otherwise I'd be too stressed out when people started demanding to know when the next chapter is.
So far I only write oneshots. It's no wonder, right? :D
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